Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
