I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
