Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
