none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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