I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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