Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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