hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
