Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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