Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
