please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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