Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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