Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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