with your own penis?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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