I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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