I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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