Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
