Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
