96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
