I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
