Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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