you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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