Sober January is a disaster.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
