IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
