I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
