she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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