I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize