Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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