Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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