i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
