sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
