so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
wow bdsm is so cute
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