i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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