She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
