Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize