Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
