just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
