Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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