yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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