quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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