big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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