i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
