My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
