bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
