I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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