I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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