the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
