if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
