If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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