...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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