so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and she was petting her beer can
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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