Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
