FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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