He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm both gender and math confused
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
