Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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