i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Farmville is her only friend.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
