The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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