I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
