I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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