Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
