The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
