***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
