I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
