I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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