GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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