Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize