And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i've created a new STD.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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