there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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